What is a sociopath (or socialized psychopath)?
I thought I would first set the stage with a little psychology. I don’t quite remember when/how I realized my father is a sociopath, but it was sometime in the last year or two. The term just “popped in there” so I googled it and got some interesting responses. One of them is this questionnaire that appeared on some random website by Keith Lockstone.
I am going to score each question according to how I think my father should be rated.
(Extracted from an article by Robert Matthews in the Sunday Telegraph Review, May 4th 1997)
While such personality disorders as psychopathy, paranoia and obsession/compulsion all have strictly defined criteria, psychiatrists are still struggling to decide precisely what constitutes a socialised psychopath.
One of the more obvious characteristics of socialised psychopaths is that they give the impression of talking "at" you. Prof Jeremy Coid describes it as like being regarded as a cardboard cut-out. "Even in a sexual relationship with them, you are still just an object for their personal gratification," he says.
The following questionnaire is based on research and experiences of socialised psychopaths. For each trait, decide if it applies to the person you suspect may be a socialised psychopath, fully (2 points), partially (1 point) or not at all (0 points).
- Do they have problems sustaining stable relationships, personally and in business? –> 2
- Do they frequently manipulate others to achieve selfish goals, with no consideration of the effects on those manipulated? –> 2
- Are they cavalier about the truth, and capable of telling lies to your face? –> 2
- Do they have an air of self-importance, regardless of their true standing in society? –> 2
- Have they no apparent sense of remorse, shame or guilt? –-> 2
- Is their charm superficial, and capable of being switched on to suit immediate ends? –> 1
- Are they easily bored and demand constant stimulation? –> 1
- Are their displays of human emotion unconvincing? –> 1
- Do they enjoy taking risks, and acting on reckless impulse? –-> 1
- Are they quick to blame others for their mistakes? –-> 1
- As teenagers, did they resent authority, play truant and/or steal? –-> unsure (0)
- Do they have no qualms about sponging off others? –> 1
- Are they quick to lose their temper? –-> 2
- Are they sexually promiscuous? –-> 1
- Do they have a belligerent, bullying manner? –-> 2
- Are they unrealistic about their long-term aims? –-> 2
- Do they lack any ability to empathise with others? –-> 1
- Would you regard them as essentially irresponsible? –-> 2
A score of 25 or above suggests strong psychopathic tendencies. This does not mean the person is a potential mass-murderer: socialised psychopaths are not mad, nor do they have to resort to violence. Even so, a close professional or emotional relationship with a socialised psychopath is likely to prove a damaging experience.
So, the total? 26, which according to this questionnaire points to “strong psychopathic tendencies”. It’s really uncanny how much these questions fit him. Some of them I almost want to score higher than a 2, if that was allowed. For example, numbers 1 – 4 and numbers 13, 16, and 18.
Damaging experience? You bet! But most of the severe damage took place within the last couple of years. My father and I no longer speak. At this point, I never want to see him again. In fact, I’m changing my middle name because I don’t want to be associated with him (his first name is my middle name). I’d change my last name too, if it wouldn’t be such a pain in the ass. Instead, I’m just focusing on where that last name came from. They couldn’t help that this character turned out to be such a bad apple. My grandfather was a fantastic fellow. Both my grandfathers were so I will commemorate them by keeping my father’s father’s last name and adopting my mother’s father’s middle name. (I can even keep my exact initials!)
Stay tuned. You’ll be saying “Oh… my… god!” before too long.
PS – This blog is not some ploy to get sympathy from strangers. I don’t need your sympathy, I need my Johnson! (Seen The Big Lebowski?) No, I’m doing this because: a) I think the catharsis will make me feel better; b) reading about my experiences might make someone else in a similar boat feel better; and c) the truth has to be out there, even if it’s on a blog that no one will read.
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- June 12, 2009 / 23:53